NY and SF: A tale of two cities

A memoir on becoming

I grew up in New York and spent 24 years riding to the same subway stations - 79th and Broadway on the 1 train - convincing friends to go on a late night bodega run from the library, and hunting for the best cuisine this city had to offer. While I live in LA now, SF has really emerged as the energy that I resonate with: a focus on intelligence, ambition, and technology. These are the two cities where the American dream rings clear and the individual can author their own becoming.

New York is a city defined by energy. The briskness of footsteps down the street, the sound of money flowing through digital terminals by the billions, the late-night walks along Riverside Park and the strange, liminal adventures at two in the morning.

San Francisco is a city defined by outliers. The great software empires built from humble beginnings - proof that outsiders can rewrite the rules of the world - the once bullied nerds finding a city that celebrates their own kind (myself included), the liberality of culture and expression that allows you to seek whoever you’re brave enough to become.

New York’s culture lies in human creation. The Broadway shows that push the boundaries for performance art, where performers embody someone new every night. A symphony of music from the refined elegance of the Philharmonic to the raw authenticity of Brooklyn house. Paintings that span the eons as humanity explored itself through small changes in color and brush.

San Francisco’s culture is found in nature’s creation. The soft lapping of the nearby ocean shores in Big Sur, bringing calm to the most turbulent of minds. The peaks of Yosemite that pierce the sky in all its barren glory and remind you that anything worth having must be earned. The great blue expanse of Tahoe that summons the weekend rush for those seeking a sunny refuge or winter escapades.

New York gathers many different souls in one place. Step into any subway car and you’ll encounter a hundred different stories from across the world. Bike across the neighborhoods and you’ll see culture shift around you: new languages, different dreams, and the varying colors of restaurant awnings and smells of the food within.

San Francisco gathers the same souls in one place. Those who believe the world is malleable, highly rational about their journey, and relentlessly ambitious about realizing it. Who refuse to accept that things have to be the way they've always been, including themselves. Never have I met so many individuals from across the world united by the tribe of technology.

New York lives in the present, with fortunes trading in microseconds and ephemeral gossip about weekend plans and the dating market.

San Francisco lives in the future, thinking deeply about what new innovations might disrupt the way we live today.

NY builds up, erecting monuments of steel and glass.

SF spreads out, populating its valley.

NY works hard and parties harder.

SF works hard and works harder.

NY runs on finance and leverage.

SF runs on software and creation.

“Technical” in NY means you understand numbers.

“Technical” in SF means you understand words with structure.

And yet while many will argue which city better than the other; the two are more similar than they are different.

Both are monotheistic to their industries and the high priests that lead them.

Both create those serendipitous 2AM conversations that reshape how you see the world.

Both are relatively meritocratic, caring more about what you deliver.

Both have status games that exhaust and exhilarate in equal measure.

Both make you feel like you're at the center of something that matters.

And both taught me that home isn't just where you're from; it's where you become who you're meant to be.